gunpowderandcorsets:

There’s another world inside of me that you may never see
There’s secrets in this life that I can’t hide
Somewhere in this darkness there’s a light that I can’t find
Maybe it’s too far away, maybe I’m just blind
Maybe I’m just blind

So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared and love me when I’m gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I’ll never let you down even if I could
I’d give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong
You can hold me when I’m scared you won’t always be there
So love me when I’m gone, love me when I’m gone

When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin
I won’t tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends
And roaming through this darkness I’m alive but I’m alone
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared and love me when I’m gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I’ll never let you down even if I could
I’d give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong
You can hold me when I’m scared, you won’t always be there
So love me when I’m gone

Maybe I’m just blind

So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared and love me when I’m gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I’ll never let you down even if I could
I’d give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong
You can hold me when I’m scared, you won’t always be there
So love me when I’m gone

Love me when I’m gone, whoa
Love me when I’m gone, when I’m gone
When I’m gone, when I’m gone

exit2eden:

Eden didn’t know how to reply to what he said, so she was grateful that he covered it quickly. “The eggs are delicious.” She liked hers sunny side up and mixed with grits. She grabbed her spoon and scooped some up. “If you don’t mind? I need some recoup time between…all of this.” She kept eating her eggs, watching him with interest. 

Swallowing, she set her spoon down. “Jesse. Are you okay? I mean, with me knowing all of this and with our…arrangement?” Maybe it was the day for confessions between them. She just felt like she needed to be sure that he still wanted her around. Otherwise, it would just be awkward between them.

Jesse nodded when she said the eggs were delicious. And when he finally actually got to taste the eggs, he had to agree with her. Everything tasted better when someone else was cooking them. At least, for him. He nodded, understanding that she needed time to come to terms with everything and figure out what it was she wanted to do.

If she wanted to leave, he couldn’t stop her. Not really. But he would keep eyes on her. He did, afterall, need to take the small piece of him he had planted inside of her. “Am I…?” He cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah… I mean, not to sound… demonic or anything but, even if you did tell someone what I’ve told you, it won’t end well for you. Or for me, I’m sure.” He gave her a weak smile before looking down. “But I trust you Eden.” 

Please don’t make me regret it.

exit2eden:

Eden was about to start eating again when she saw Jesse push his plate away. She swallowed nervously as she listened. “Okay.” It wasn’t Eden’s place to ask and to be honest, she wasn’t sure she could handle much beyond the whole Antichrist thing at the moment. “Whatever you need, Jesse.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Look, I don’t want you to freak out because you told me this. I get that I can’t run this news in tomorrow’s paper.”

She looked at Jesse, head tilted. “You can trust me. And as far as whoever goes looking for you.” She paused and looked confused for a moment, “Jesse who?” Smiling, she cut up some more of her pancakes. She took a bite and swallowed, a grin on her face.

Jesse took a deep breath. He knew that he could trust her. Something had told him that. “How are you real?” He asked before he knew it had even left his lips. But as soon as he realized it, his ears turned a bright red and he looked down. “How are the eggs?” He quickly asked, picking up his fork and pulling his plate closer again, scooping up a mouthful of egg.

He chewed slowly and kept his gaze on something else before he looked back at her. Swallowing, he cleared his throat. “Are we going back to the motel after this?”

exit2eden:

“Everything that might affect me, you know.” She set her fork down. “I’m not asking to know all your dirty little secrets. Just because I’m comfortable talking to anyone about anything…it doesn’t mean everyone is. I’m just saying, if it affects me in any way, that a heads up would be nice.” She took another swallow of her orange juice, really wishing she had something a lot stronger while talking about this.

On the outside, Eden was trying to seem like the whole Anti-christ deal wasn’t a big thing. And honestly, to her it wasn’t. But it did make her wonder what else Jesse wasn’t telling her. She reminded herself that they weren’t together. That they were barely friends and she needed to keep that distance. Otherwise, she was opening a whole other can of worms.

Jesse nodded. “Alright,” he said. “Deal. I’ll tell you everything you need to know.” He twirled his fork in his hand as he looked down at his food, pushing around the bacon. His jaw clenched and relaxed. He pushed his plate away and put his fork down to rub his temple.

“Okay, so there’s something I have to tell you, then.” He lowered his hand. “I don’t think that… it affects you directly. Mainly it’s just my problem, but I need you to be aware so that you aren’t thrown into this without any knowledge.” He licked his lips, which tasted of cinnamon and maple. “If anyone ever asks for or about me, my name is Jesse Singer, okay?” He chewed on the inside of his lip. “There are.. things after me. And this is why I don’t..” He scrubbed his hand over his face again, letting out a breath. “They think I’m dead. Jesse Turner is dead and I can’t get on their radar unless it’s time to.”

exit2eden:

Eden cut up her pancakes and took a bite, savoring the strawberries mixing with the whipped cream. She closed her eyes to focus, opening them as she swallowed. “God, I missed this. It’s been ages since I’ve come here.” Licking her lips, she reached over to grab the maple syrup and pour some over her pancakes. She cut another piece off. “There’s all these flavors and they come together to just melt in your mouth. It’s like Heaven in a single bite.”

She took a sip of her orange juice before eating more. “I want you to do something for me.” She looked over at Jesse as she cut up another piece. “From here on out, you’re completely and one hundred percent honest with me.” She sighs, “It’s not that you weren’t honest. It just…I need you to feel like you can trust me. But…it’s not about who you are. It’s about what you do. Not what you’ve done but what you do.”

Jesse watched her for a moment before he moved to cut his pancakes. He wasn’t really neat about it— or at least, he didn’t intend to be. But when torturing is something one does for a living, carving and cutting sort of becomes a part of who he is and it goes into everything he does. He grabbed the syrup and poured it over his pancakes, then he lifted his fork and stabbed the pancakes, scooping it up into his mouth. 

He let out a noise of approval as she spoke, never having tasted pancakes this cook. Especially since they were cooked by a living, breathing being instead of just zapping them into existence. He blinked and looked up at her, lowering his fork. He glanced around before looking at her. “So… you want me to be honest… about everything?” He scratched the back of his neck. “Define everything.”

exit2eden:

Eden missed the feeling of his hands in hers but just gave him a small smile as she sat back. She could feel her jaw drop as what he told her set in. She shut it quickly and leaned forward. “I’m sorry but I think you said something about the Antichrist just now.” Her eyes widened as she kept trying to process it. “And that it’s you.” And of course, at that exact moment, their food was delivered. She gave the waiter a sweet smile and said thanks. 

Staring down at her plate, she was lost in thought. How was she supposed to respond to this? What was the appropriate reaction to ‘I am the Anti-christ.’? She took a deep breath and looked up at him. “I’m starving. I think…I think I’m gonna eat. Now. And…let that process a little before I actually react cause…” She just shook her head. “…I don’t really have a reaction to that right now.” Any other guy and she would have left…but this was Jesse.

Jesse watched her carefully, bothered by the fact that he’s afraid of her leaving him. He isn’t sure if it’s because she’s got a bit of him in her or because, hell, he actually cares about her. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but he had stopped breathing, holding his breath as he waited. 

He gave her a light, awkward smile as he shrugged. “S-surprise?” His lips twitched but they fell into a line as his gaze followed hers to her plate before they moved to his plate. “Uh, y-yeah… Yeah, good idea,” he said, clearing his throat. She had taken it better than he would have thought. Then again, she did say she didn’t have a reaction yet. He ran a hand through his hair before he picked up his fork to dig into his pancakes. 

He hated to admit it, but he actually felt bad. And not the kinda bad he was used to.

(Source: deaths-teaset)

exit2eden:

Eden was so engrossed in what he was saying that she jumped a little when the waiter showed up. She ordered in a hurry, wanting Jesse to finish talking. “I didn’t say I was gonna freak out. I mean, I don’t know if I’ll freak out because I clearly have no idea what you’re about to say but I didn’t say I would for sure.” She was babbling and she was nervous. “But okay.” She cleared her throat and nodded, trying to ease his mind. “I won’t zap out.”

She felt like she should know. That as a hunter, the word should be familiar but she was never really one for research. She shook her head. “No, I mean, I don’t think I do.” She leaned over, taking his hands into hers, noticing how fidgety he seemed. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.”

Jesse nodded when she agreed to not zap out. If she was going to leave, he’d rather her have something she can take without wearing herself out. He let out a sigh, looking down at their hands before he gave her hands a squeeze.

After a moment, he pulled his hands back and keeping his gaze on her. “My mother got pregnant and the guy was nowhere to be found.” He looked down. “My… mom was possessed the whole pregnancy and there wasn’t a guy… So I guess I technically don’t have a father.” He pressed his lips together. “I… A Cambion is like, it’s the Antichrist.” His gaze slowly rose to hers. “…I’m the Antichrist.”

exit2eden:

Her heart skipped a beat when he said he hadn’t been totally honest with her. Eden was used to guys, well, people in general, just trying to tell her what she wanted to hear. She closed her menu and took in a breath to listen to him. Worst case scenario, she could blink herself away if it was something that upset her. She rose her eyebrow when he mentioned he was adopted, not expecting to hear that. Though, he was right, he hadn’t told her much about himself. 

It was partially her fault. She never bothered to ask, assuming it was better that way. Whenever she got to know people more intimately, something bad always seemed to happen. She thought maybe, if she held onto this illusion for a little while longer, she could be happy for a while. But she needed to know what she was getting into. “Jesse, I had no idea. I’ve been sitting here talking about my folks constantly. I’m sorry.” But her interest had piqued at one particular part. “Weird things?”

Jesse shook his head before he shrugged, shoulders rising and falling. “It’s alright,” he said. “They.. They cared about me and I loved them. That’s all that mattered.” He gave her a sad smile before he ran a hand through his hair. “Well, things would happen.. Like if I thought about something for too long, it’d happen. I always thought it was just a coincidence.” 

He was going to say more but the waiter came back to take their orders. He ordered what he wanted with extra bacon. He waited for Eden to order and for the waiter to walk away before he continued. “I uh… When I was eleven, these two guys came to my house.. Some stuff happened, y’know, with hunters and stuff. And there was an angel involved.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and he leaned back in his seat. “If this.. If you’re gonna freak out, don’t zap out, okay? Just… calmly make your way out and take the car.”

He sighed and leaned forward. “I found out that I wasn’t just… I’m not..” He looked down, fingers tapping against the table. “Ever hear about the Cabion?”